I keep having brief ideas for a blog post and then lose them when I sit down to write. Or they just kind of fizzle after the first sentence or two. Or worse, I have SO MUCH to say I can’t get my thoughts organized or don’t have the time to write what I really mean in a complete way.

Sooooooo, today you get random thought farts. Lucky you!

Twitter I signed up for Twitter (Follow me! I’m Snarkdog) this summer. I’m still not sure I really get it. I follow about 20 or so people. I find following “famous” people the most interesting thing about Twitter. Jason Mraz sends regular inspiration/gratitude/thought-of-the-day kinds of tweets. (He doesn’t actually type them himself which is kind of a bummer.) It has been interesting to read P!nk’s posts from her Australia tour this summer too. I also follow Dooce and she has just recently started Tweeting a lot. But I have to say, I don’t think if I ranted about crappy customer service anyone would be offering me a free washing machine. I guess having 1000s of blog readers really helps in that regard.

Facebook Oh Facebook, how I love and loathe you! I think I have a serious addiction problem with Facebook. Screw vodka, I walked away from that bitch with hardly a tremor, but take away my social networking and Bejeweled Blitz/Farkle fixes and I may have to be institutionalized. Of course as anyone can tell you, the coolest/scariest thing about FB is that it is like a cyber high school reunion except at this reunion you can avoid the people you hate and those that you don’t want to know that you got fat and did nothing to live up to your potential. (But you can show them that your hair finally recovered from that unfortunate perm you had 1980) I’ve heard many people talk about old flames finding them on FB and just for shits and giggles I did a search for an old high school boyfriend. I found him, didn’t send a friend request. He didn’t go to my high school so we don’t have any friends in common, he did have a friend in common with a couple of my friends but it was like 3 degrees of separation and quite frankly, he was a douche and no one liked him so I doubt he’ll be mixing with my cool crowd anytime soon.

I do have the usual complaints/annoyances with FB as a lot of you do I’m sure. While I do love a stupid quiz to pass the time on occasion, I do get annoyed with the constant stream of them from some people. I equate them to Christmas cards. Follow along with me here. Do you get those Christmas cards from people you’ve known for years but never get to see anymore that are just signed with their names and no note or anything? Or worse, a photo card with pictures of their kids that you’ve never seen in person and the card is “signed” by the computer that created it. I would much rather receive a long treatise of your year in review complete with details of your last surgery and pics of the scars and photocopies of your brilliant 3 year old’s transcripts from Harvard than some bullshit generic holiday greeting. But I digress…These are the same people that do nothing on FB but play games and take stupid quizzes and post EVERY score and result on their feed. (You can disable these notifications and believe me I have!) They never comment on anyone’s status or shared photos. They rarely even update their status. Facebook is about connecting with people, getting to know them better or reconnecting after years apart. It is a dialogue. Also, I don’t care if your cow is missing on Farmville or if you are looking for an exploding cigar in Mafia Wars or what your latest Hatchling became, especially if you are over say, 12 years old.

The other really interesting thing I’ve discovered via Facebook is just how many LGBT people went to my high school. I graduated in a class of 106 students in a very small town in rural Michigan in the mid 80s (1985 to be exact, and yes that song was written about me, why do you ask?) I knew what gays and lesbians were and even knew a few personally but no one was “out” in the way we are familiar with today. My cousin moved to California sometime in the 70s and I remember when he came home to visit with his “friend” (or maybe we were progressive enough to call him his “partner” I don’t remember) and there were assumptions and rumors about a girls’ volleyball coach or two over the years but that was about it. But it seems that the “10% rule*” holds true even in small rural communities. (*Common belief is that 10% of the population is LGBT) Many of my gay/lesbian classmates haven’t attended any of our class reunions over the years and I think it is probably due to the worry that their lifestyle wouldn’t be accepted or understood. I’m hoping that through the buffer of “coming out” on FB and reconnecting with some of us they will realize there is nothing to fear and feel comfortable enough to attend a reunion in the future.

Blogging and reading other people’s blogs. I have been blogging since about ’01 or ’02 I think. One of my old original blogs is still floating around out there in Blogspotland and a couple years of original posts to this blog were lost in an unfortunate database accident about 2 or 3 years ago. I come and go with how diligently I post new things. Probably because I change my mind every 6 months or so as to what direction I want to take with my blog. (Which incidentally is why I chose “eclectic mess” as my name because I knew I would change my mind and naming it something with Knitting, Mommy or Crazy in the title wouldn’t make sense in the long run, well except for that last one maybe.)

I really enjoy reading other people’s blogs too. I’m very much a voyeur that way. (Which is also why the game/quiz/signed-card only people annoy me so much I guess.) Right now I only have about 30 subscriptions on my blog reader and I need to weed those out further too. I’ve been adding a few new ones here and there now that I have a little more time to go link surfing and comment reading. I’m always curious to try to figure out how some blogs get so many readers and especially commenters. I’ve never been very good at self-promotion (see: failed business venture 2008). Because I read so many blogs in my blog reader I don’t often see other people’s blog templates or sidebar junk but often to read comments I have to click through to the actual blog. (BTW, if you only have a partial feed sent to the RSS reader, I will drop my subscription to your blog unless I really love you. Just saying.)

This leads me to a question. Can someone explain how BlogHer works? I think I joined it or signed up or posted my blog address there ages ago but never had the time to figure it all out. Recently I found a few new blogs that I really enjoy (Aunt Becky I’m talking about you again in that weird stalker way I have) and I know they are “members” of BlogHer but I still don’t quite understand what is involved and how one goes about getting involved. I’m not sure I’m really down with the big ugly (sorry) advertising thing I see in sidebars across blogland so if that is required I may have to think it over more. The other problem I have (and I have many as you are well aware) is I don’t know how to classify my blog. Is it a craft/knitting/sewing blog? Yes, sometimes. Is it a parenting/mommy blog? Yes, but rarely. Is it a humor blog? Only because if I don’t laugh I may never stop crying. Is it a lifestyle/personal blog? Most definitely, sometimes too personal. But what am I to do? It’s my life.

School started this week Both girls are fine with it. Sarah is a sophomore and Emma is a 7th grader so neither of them had a new school to adjust to so it was pretty smooth sailing yesterday. They both came home with fairly standard first day of school reports. A few weird teachers, a few annoying students, no locker problems and the usual complaints about the bus. I’m trying to acclimate to the 6 a.m. alarm and it has been cold and rainy so I’ve had to drive them to the bus stop. But all in all it is just another school year.

Maizey got spayed a week ago. She is still wearing the “cone of shame” because she is a tad bit obsessive about her stitches. She slams around the house and into things and people. It is a quite entertaining and a bit annoying. I tried taking it off her and putting a T-shirt on her but she found a way around that too.

Plus she looked even more ridiculous wearing a “Have you hugged your Big Dog today” shirt than one would imagine.

Quite the clever title there huh? Somedays you just have to go with what life deals ya and today it is dog shit.

The last post I just finished and published was not what I intended to write when I sat down in my comfy recliner with my HP-mini notebook and can of diet Pepsi. But it is what came out and what obviously I NEEDED to write.

Today was just one of those days. One of those days that just keeps getting better and better. I won’t rehash the last post. I’ll just remind my gentle readers that I took my girls shopping and it was trying and tiring. We went to one mall initially and ended up back at what I lovingly refer to as Chuckletown Mall where most of the stores are empty spaces. But there is a Deb store that sells plus sizes and it is one of the last remaining places in the state of Illinois where my daughter can find jeans and homecoming dresses that fit her and don’t (usually) make her cry.

When we got home around 5 p.m. I had the horrifying realization that the puppy had been in her crate since around 10 a.m. and that may just have been longer than her digestive system could handle. We came in the house with a sense of exhaustion and trepidation. Fortunately she was fine and clean. She ran for the backdoor immediately and went out to do her business.

But alas! All was not well in the land of the Shiny Island. As we progressed further into the house we smelled the distinctive air of canine defecation. Upon close inspection a steaming pile of crap matching the living room rug almost exactly was found. Heidi had a bad day.

All I wanted to do was relax in my chair with a can of Diet Pepsi and watch last night’s episode of Mad Men. But no. I got a pile of shit to clean up instead.

Thank goodness I bought this little machine right after I bought this new rug and before we adopted the new pup. It has paid for itself many times over.

I think the color of that water about says it all.

When I was done I found this glass’ worth of wine left in the fridge. I think I earned it.

Edited to add: I find it very difficult to watch Mad Men without a martini and a Lucky Strike but was so pleased to find on this weeks episode the crew at Sterling Cooper working on the “Patio” (the working name for what would become Diet Pepsi) campaign. Cool.

Christo on a Wheat Thin.

Wednesday is the first day of school for the new year. All Moms everywhere know what means. Shopping. Shoot me now. Or rather why didn’t someone shoot me on Sunday? Please.

Shopping with (or for) my girls is so hard. Don’t misunderstand, they aren’t whiners and don’t beg for inappropriate things that we can’t afford. Rather both of them are next to impossible to find clothing that fits them. And the problem is a matter of extremes.

If I had to name the biggest failure I’ve had as a mother it would be Sarah and her weight. I noticed very early on that she was getting chubby at about 6 or 7 years old. We were homeschooling at the time and I tried to find ways to incorporate more physical activity into our day. I also signed her up for soccer, dance and gymnastics at different times to try to meet both her social and physical needs. All to no avail. She inherited the family disdain for organized sports and group activities. As time went on and her size increased I tried different things at the same time trying to NOT make an issue of it all.

Growing up in the 70s and 80s in the era of after school specials and “very special episodes” of Family Ties and Blossom, I was hyper-aware of what negative implications might come from a mother obsessing about her daughter’s weight. I didn’t want her to have self-esteem issues and eating disorders. Instead I failed in the opposite direction. I figured she’d eventually decide it was time to do something about it and when she wanted to slim down I’d be there to help her in a positive and healthy way. And we’ve tried. Lord knows we’ve tried.

To add insult to injury Emma is tiny. She takes after my sister in law who was 115 pounds and had a 32 inch waist two weeks after giving birth to her first son. I know this because she was in my wedding party and I had to take her measurements to the seamstress who was making my bridesmaids’ dresses at the time. Emma is going into 7th grade and still can’t shop in the Junior’s Dept. I finally bought her one of those pathetic little padded bras because she was so depressed about never getting boobies. She is built somewhat like a gazelle or young thoroughbred. All legs and no curves. Many would envy her (I know her sister and I have our moments) but in reality it is as hard as the other extreme that is her sister. Her friends are getting bras because they need them and are getting their first periods and filling out bathing suits and cute sundresses in ways she may never get to do. She can only find clothes that really fit her (but are too short) with Jonas Bros. and Dora the Explorer emblazoned across them. She has a fierce sense of style and has a hard time being able to realize it.

Emma’s situation is easier on me as a Mom. She may grow, she will eventually go through puberty. It isn’t as hard on the psyche to be skinny in our society. Being a size 00 has its hardships but for the most part it is something that is looked at as a positive in our culture. I’m don’t agree with this but it is what it is. She can’t help or take credit for the genetic lottery she won.

Sarah’s situation on the other hand is something I struggle with on a daily basis. Days like today are particularly hard on both of us. It got to the point that we just gave up trying to find clothes around here. For a few years I made her most of her clothes. That was fine until the teen years hit and she wanted to wear what everyone else wore. Nobody wants to be the girl who wears clothes her Mom sewed for her! Then we found a few stores in the big mall an hour away that carried fashionable stuff in her size. Today even that was an epic FAIL. We did eventually find enough to get her by but I felt so defeated and I know she was pissed. On a positive note, she did find a beautiful dress for Homecoming. She looks so pretty in it but I know that she doesn’t feel as pretty as she really is and should feel at this age.

I can’t help but feel like it is my fault. I was responsible for the food in the house and what she ate. I didn’t make her exercise or stick with a sport. I kept telling her it was okay and she was fine when she clearly wasn’t. I wanted her to have a good self image. But instead I fed her a lie. Now it has gotten to the point where she has been in denial about it and it is affecting her health. I know she wants to fix it. I know it is serious and she won’t be able to do it alone. I also know it will take some serious tough love on my part to help her achieve what needs to be done. I’m not feeling up to it right now but I know I don’t have a choice.

Any resources or advice internet? Especially anything geared specifically toward teens?

**This post will probably be made “personal/private” very soon to try to preserve some semblance of dignity for my girls. I just have to put it out there for my sanity.