Last week Emma sketched out what she wanted her Halloween costume to look like. She decided she wanted to be a fairy but not a “Disney Princess Fairy”. More like a Woodland Sprite kind of fairy.

She came into the store with me today and on our way we stopped at Joann’s (yes, even I still shop there on occassion!) for materials. We found this metallic stretchy fabric that looked like magical tree bark or something. I added three colors (black,brown and tan) shimmery tulle and some dark olive green cotton knit and we had the makings of a Woodland Fairy costume.

Going by her vision and sketch plus a few ideas of my own this is what we came up with today. The gathered tulle and petals didn’t have enough give to fit over her head so I had to come up with a way to close up an open back. I refuse to put zippers in Halloween costumes so I decided to make loops and lace up the back of the bodice with black satin ribbon. This left the problem of the “hospital gown effect” in the back of the skirt. I solved that by making one more green petal and hand sewing it to one side of the skirt and putting a hook and eye closure on the other side. She also plans to wear a pair of black stretch velvet gymnastic shorts under it on Halloween.

It was a lot of fun working together on this project and coming up with an original design. This will probably be the last Halloween costume I’ll get to make for one of my girls so I had to go out with a bang!

Yesterday was our 19th Anniversary!

It really doesn’t seem like all that long but when I look at so many people around us I realize that it is a pretty big accomplishment in this day and age. We don’t have a magic formula. It is really quite simple. Don’t break up. I’ve quit and given up on a lot of things in my life, but our family and marriage isn’t one of them. Not to say it has been a perfect, blissful, fairytale ride for 20 years. Far from it. We just made a promise to ourselves, each other, our children and our families and we stuck to our commitment and when the going got rough, we knuckled down and got through it.

If I had to make a list of the things that have helped us stick it out and overcome the rough spots it would be:
1) Maintain a sense of humor. Inside jokes, humbling teasing and many other forms of goofiness make life easier in general. Be sure to laugh at yourself most of all.
 
2) Make time for each other. Go on vacations or just out to dinner together. Sometimes all it takes is a cocktail and conversation at the end of the day to feel reconnected. This has gotten easier as the girls have gotten older. Back when they were little we still made the effort to get a sitter or send them to Grandma’s or my sister’s for a weekend so we could be together.

3) Make your family a priority. This one is similar to #2 but in this one we include the girls. We’ve always put a priority on family time. Sometimes it is a big family trip somewhere and others it is just a game of Scrabble or mutually agreed upon movie. We’ve made a point of teaching our girls that family comes first, friends may come and go, but you’ll be sisters forever. It is much easier being a cohesive family unit when everyone is getting along. When the bitching and squabbling start, we know it is time for some forced family fun!

5) Make time to be alone. Personal time and space is just as important as time together. When the girls were little and I was with them 24/7 and Steve was on the road for work for days at a time, my need for alone time was tremendous. If I hadn’t been able to get away to my craft room or go for a walk by myself regularly, I would’ve cracked. There were times that I did crack but Steve helped put the pieces back together and we learned this lesson.

5) Go to bed mad. I know this is counter to the old wives’ tales but hear me out. Sometimes when you are tired and angry prolonging the argument and to continue to try to get your point across just isn’t worth it. Most of the time, a good night’s sleep and a fresh perspective is all that is needed. Just be sure to take the time when both parties are rested and calmed down to revisit the issue and resolve it or it will rear its ugly head at another time and in another form.

If you are a local reader you may already know about the big news here in the neighborhood (of the store). It has taken me 24 hours since I first heard the news to even begin to process it all. The story is HERE. Kind of scary and really sad. You never think that a major crime like this is going to occur literally in your front yard. (The main crime scene is two doors down from the store and the secondary scene is across the street, but the victim did pass right by here from one to the other.)

I can honestly say that other than this one house and its occupants, this is a good neighborhood and I’ve never felt in danger while here at work alone all day. I am very pissed off that this house with known drug offenders has been allowed to remain in operation across from two middle schools and within walking distance of an elementary and the local parochial school however. Now that all this has happened I find out that most of the neighbors and the police have been aware of these guys. I hope now at least something will be done about it.