Heidi – “Liebenhund’s Hydrangea”
3/21/00 – 5/21/10

It’s been almost 3 weeks and I still can’t talk about it much. It was time. She left us with dignity and grace, just as she lived her life. She will always have a special place in our hearts and memories.

This is Cate our neighbor and dog sitter. We got Heidi right after Cate and her family moved in next door. In middle school she started a pet sitting business. She just finished her junior year in high school and has been the greatest friend to all of our animals. When she heard that we were preparing for the inevitable she came over to say goodbye. You can tell by the looks on both of their faces how much they loved eachother.

This is my best friend Jayne with Heidi the day before we made our final journey. Jayne and I have taken our dogs to the local off leash forest preserve for years. She also dog sits for us when Cate isn’t available. She came by to say goodbye and offer her love. Again, it is obvious how much Heidi touched lives.

Had to do the total BORG routine last night. My new dentist thinks that some of my jaw problems may be caused or aggravated by sleep apnea or other sleep disturbances so she ordered a sleep study. I had to suit up with a plethora of wires, probes and other paraphernalia to test how I sleep. I don’t think I have a sleep problem that wouldn’t be solved by sleeping in an isolation tank with no snoring husbands, snuggling dogs, or purring cats. We’ll see what the results tell me.

Now that I frightened away the last 4 readers with that scary ass picture of my bedtime mug (trust me, there was an even scarier picture that if I get cranky enough I will pull out to scare away the rest of you intrepid readers!) I will leave you with some pretty to cleanse your eyeballs.

Still not pretty enough? How about this?

I wish I could.

I had an appointment with a new dentist yesterday. I’ve never been so happy when I got home from a medical appointment in my entire life except for maybe after my LASIK surgery.

For the past 20+ years there have/had been three things about my physical self that have given me grief. Number one was my years of endometriosis. From practically my first period on I suffered terribly from pain and all kinds of other nasty things. The only times I had any relief were when I was pregnant and nursing. A hysterectomy about 4 years ago changed my life. The second was my extreme near-sightedness. I got my first pair of glasses at 7 years old. When I finally got LASIK surgery and could wake up and go to the bathroom with out fumbling around my bedside table for my glasses it was like my life started all over again. The third has been the pain and immobility I have had with my TMJ since college. I don’t remember specifically when my jaw problems started but I think it was sometime between when my braces came off at age 13 and getting my wisdom teeth out my freshman year of college.

I’ve sought treatment for this problem from every dentist I’ve seen for the past 20 years. I even went back to my original orthodontist (who probably caused it in the first place). I’ve had numerous bite guards and other dental appliances fitted. But they never got to the root of the problem. They also always fell short because most of them were made to be worn at night while I slept and while I do grind my teeth in my sleep I also clench my teeth all day, every day. I needed something I could wear while talking, eating, and just generally going about my daily activities. I also needed someone to look to the cause of my problem and not just treat the symptoms.

I think I may have just found those people. Yesterday’s appointment was initially for a general cleaning and TMJ consultation. One of the things they did was measure just how far I could open my mouth. 23 millimeters. That’s right, I can only open my mouth about 2 and a half centimeters. SMALL grapes are about the only whole food I can fit in my mouth, every thing else has to be cut up.

Also the hygienist that cleaned my teeth is also a TMJ sufferer and for once I didn’t have a hygienist that just didn’t get it that I had to take a break every 3-4 teeth to rest my jaw muscles. She didn’t continually berate me to “open wider” and “don’t bite down on that!” or “I’ll be done in a minute.” There have been dentist visits in my past where I was literally crying in pain, in my face and jaw not my teeth, by the end of my visit. The best part was that at the end of the visit they used a cold laser on my jaw muscles and joints to relieve that pain and inflammation that was inevitable from holding my mouth open for over an hour.

Even with all that special care and consideration I’m still in pain today. But I do have hope that maybe sometime in my future I may have relief from the last bane to my existence.