My Eclectic Mess

Pattern photo and information.

I made this little butterfly top a few weeks ago. I’ve had this pattern in my stash for about 2 years. I was going to use it for tops for my daughter but she really didn’t like the style, it was too loose and flowing for her preferences. I found this fabric at Joann Fabrics recently and thought it was pretty and liked the colors. I saw this yoga top on Pinterest and really liked it. But I didn’t want to pay full price when I knew it could be made for pennies. I thought that I could maybe use this pattern as a kick off point to eventually engineer my own version of this top.

I originally made it as it but with the straight bottom hem. Then I tried it on and it was awful! I looked worse than pregnant. I knew I would never wear it. I decided to take a tuck/pleat in the center front to give it some shape. Then I cut off 8” from the bottom and used that to make the bottom band. I then divided the band and the bottom of the top into quarters. I attached the bottom band using the serger, stretching and fitting it to the top as I went.

The next step is to take what I learned from making this top and from making my own swimwear and combining them into making a copy of the Lululemon top I originally admired. I think I can use the basic lines of this top and combine it with a basic sports bra and get what I want. I will just gather the upper edge of the bodice and attach it to the front of a sports bra.

If I make the sports bra with a racer back it won’t be anything to leave off the spaghetti straps and just link up the back of this top to the sports bra racer back.

Here I am wearing the yoga top I made a while back that has a different type of back.

(OOOOoooo! this photo shows that I not only need to see my chiropractor because of that sloping shoulder, but I also need to continue to work on my triceps! Can we just pretend that ass didn’t happen? Thanks.) I am not embarrassed by my body. On the contrary, I am really proud of the work I have been doing and love what my body can do now at my age. But photos don’t lie and give a good indication of where I am at and where I still have work to do. Honestly, the sloping shoulder and crooked back bothers me more than the flabby triceps and saddlebags because it indicates imbalance. These photos also show that I really need to call the salon and get a hair appointment even though I am trying to grow my hair out. Truth is truth.

This photo shows why I wanted to add the fitted band to the bottom of this top. Often when doing asana you end up ass over teakettle, or head down. Because I am still “plus size” I’m not always comfortable with typical yoga clothing that is body skimming. I want something that leaves something to the imagination. But with loose T’s you end up with a face full of fabric when you do inversions. A fitted bottom band gives you the best of both worlds. It keeps your clothing in place and allows some modesty.

While my daughter was taking the photos of this top I had her take some others without the top to show the earlier yoga togs I made.

Namaste.

Crow Pose (Bakasana) has been my challenge pose for a time now. I’m still not totally solid but I’m getting there.

Tuesday was my birthday. I am now 46 years old and feeling really good about myself and my life.

I’ve really learned some lessons this year and relearned things that I always knew but forgot or didn’t believe. Isn’t that the way it is sometimes? You can learn something, know it to be a fact, but until you actually apply it in your life and live it, you don’t truly know it. That applies to everything from having faith to using algebra.

When I was a child I was told to say my prayers. We prayed in Sunday School, at meals, before bed. But no one ever really explained how to pray. I learned the prayers we all said together in church and the prayers my family always said at holidays. There is a common misconception that praying is asking, kind of like a mystical Wish List. What I’ve finally learned about prayer is that a prayer of gratitude is always the most powerful.

Years ago I read Sarah Ban Breathnach’s Simple Abundance and started keeping a Gratitude Journal in a quest to find peace and abundance in my life. At the time it didn’t work for me. I focused too much on the Abundance part of the equation instead of the Gratitude. I still thought it was like a mystical, magic bullet. I was focused on the results instead of the process. I was focused on my perceived needs and what I was getting out of life.

Now I know that isn’t how this whole thing works. It begins and ends with Gratitude. Just say thank you. And not just to God or whatever higher power you believe in, but to everyone and everything. I find myself saying “thank you” multiple times a day and it feels great. There was a time when if someone offered me advice or a correction I’d automatically get defensive and think that I had to prove that I knew what I was doing. Now I just say thank you and listen and often, learn something new. And why is it so hard to accept a compliment? Because we’re taught that being humble means dismissing our own worth. But that is wrong. You can be perfectly humble and still say thank you and own your worth and appreciate when someone recognizes your gifts and talents.

Gratitude also makes tough situations easier and life less shitty. I was inspired by a friend (in other words, I totally stole the idea from her) to start posting a “GRATItuesday post on my Facebook wall every Tuesday, listing whatever it is I am grateful for that day or week. Some weeks it is really easy, some weeks not so much. When you start living in a state of gratitude you look at things differently. I’ve learned that having a bad attitude and being upset or angry or pissed off when things don’t go well doesn’t do me or anyone around me any good. Not to say that I don’t get angry at things that rightfully should make me angry. (Rapist make me angry for instance.) I’m talking here about little things. Like when the dog vomits. What is the point in getting all pissed off about it? Clean it up and move on, and if I’m feeling particularly grateful at that moment, be thankful she didn’t do it on the bed.

Living in and practicing gratitude multiplies the good things in life. Think about the last time someone said thank you or showed gratitude for something you did for them. How did you feel? I bet that the next time the opportunity to do something nice for that person came up you were much more apt to do it. That works in reverse, people and the universe like to help people who show appreciation and gratitude.

In the spirit of this post I am going to say thank you to all of you who read what I have to say. On Tuesday night I noticed that I had 75 followers on my Facebook page for this blog and just asked if people would share it and see if we could get up to 100 by the end of the week. My friends and followers did and we had over 100 in a few hours! As of right now there are 113 which is so cool. I went to bed on my birthday with a huge feeling of love and gratitude and it has continued on through the week. I am humbled by the show of support from friends, family and complete strangers. Thank you.

I was going to wait and do a weekly post about the results I’m seeing from adding fresh veggie juice to my diet but I couldn’t wait that long! Today is day 3 1/2 and I’m seeing results already. I don’t think anything else I’ve ever done except for the 2-3 times I quit smoking over the past 20 years has ever had such an immediate effect. (And yes, I am currently smoke-free and intend to stay that way for the rest of my life.)

My regimen so far has been to make a batch of juice first thing in the morning while Emma gets ready for school. I put this into a reusable plastic (BPA-free of course) cup with a straw (My poolside cocktail “glass” from Hawaii.) and sip it while I’m in the car line dropping her off at school. Tuesday I made another batch later in the  morning to take to work for a snack. I found two small glass bottles that had held Chai Tea Lattes from Target and have repurposed them to store my “snack” juice in the fridge.

My recipes so far have been pretty make shift. For a green drink I typically combine and handful or two of baby spinach, cup of Kale, 1-2 carrots and an apple. Wednesday morning I tried a Vitamin C rich combination of 6 small clementines (peeled), 2 carrots and a celery stalk. The “kitchen sink” combination of a bit of everything I made the other day was a fail. I used whole pieces of pomegranate instead of just the seeds and that made it too bitter and I think my ratios were off and the whole thing was an ugly brownish green color and tasted “dirty”. I mixed it with some Tropicana OJ and it was palatable but not my best effort.

So for the results:

• I’m sleeping better. This may not be totally fair to assess because I’ve been sleeping alone this week, Steve is in Vegas. So I haven’t had snoring and bed sharing to contend with the past few nights. But overall I feel like I’m sleeping more soundly and am waking up usually before my alarm and feeling very refreshed.
• 3pm yawns are gone. Yesterday I worked a typical 10-5 work day. Usually somewhere around 3pm I get very tired and start yawning and wanting a nap or another can of Diet Pepsi. Yesterday I didn’t have my morning pot of tea or any Pepsi at lunch, so no caffeine at all, but at 3pm I noticed that I wasn’t fatigued or yawning. I actually felt very alert and energetic. And even when I got home after 5 I didn’t have that “I just want to hit the couch and veg out for the rest of the night” feeling.
• I feel more mentally alert. I have no way of quantifying this, maybe I should’ve timed my Sudoku solving abilities before and after. Subjectively I feel like I have a better attention span and my cognitive skills are sharper. Last week there were a couple times at work that I made just stupid mistakes and felt very foggy and this week I feel like I am mentally on top of my game.
• I had a chiropractor appointment this morning and my adjustment from last week held and I reported no neck or shoulder pain. My overall pain levels that typically include neck, back, hips and feet in addition to an occasional headache have been non-existent the past few days. That may or may not be a big deal as I’m not one to ALWAYS be in pain. Sometimes you don’t realize how much chronic, low-grade pain you have until it is gone and I’ve noticed a significant decrease the past few days.

Two areas that I haven’t seen any significant changes so far would be my weight and my skin. I think it is too soon for either of those things to be effected. I really don’t foresee my weight going down by just adding fresh veggie juice to my diet. I’m not making any other significant changes or omissions at this time. But I do find myself craving sweets a little less so maybe that will eventually lead to other dietary changes. I do think that by making one small positive change leads to a cascading effect of other good choices. I already find myself choosing water instead of Diet Pepsi when I’m thirsty or feeling tired. I’ve also chosen to make a homemade dinner for Emma and me this week and took homemade stuff for lunches the two days I’ve worked. This has not only been good for my health but the health of my wallet as well.

This was yesterday’s lunch, homemade black bean soup. I made it on Sunday and when Emma didn’t want to eat it I put it in the fridge to “mellow” and then packaged it up into individual servings for the freezer. I now have 5 more servings ready and waiting for me to grab and go. Cheap, healthy and delicious. I also have a few servings of homemade clam chowder ready as well. Sure beats Pizza-by-the-slice from the restaurant next door for lunch!

And not to share TMI but I was a bit worried about eating bean soup for lunch while at work but I can report that I didn’t experience the “usual” side-affects from beans. I’ve been known to be a bit gassy and oddly, adding more veggies and beans to my diet seems to have had the opposite affect. Diet Pepsi and cheese pizza are much worse overall for my digestion in my experience.