There is a meme going around the blogosphere this week about the ten things you are grateful for and I thought it was a nice idea to try to do it. Problem I’m having this week is finding time to sit down and type out the ten things I am most grateful for right now. I started this post on Tuesday (and stole the title from my friend Marsha who posts “Grati-Tuesday” statuses on Facebook) but now it is late Wednesday afternoon and this is as far as I’ve gotten. It took me a half an hour this morning to write one short email. I just keep getting distracted and interrupted. (Like just now, I got up to go take a shower and came back to find Emma using my laptop.) Anyway here we go:

1. Roadside garbage pick up. Come on think about it, how much would life suck if we didn’t have that garbage truck coming to the house once a week to take all our crap away? As you all probably know, I grew up on a farm and we didn’t have garbage pick up. What we had was a “burn barrel” and a big barrel that we tossed metal cans into and all “organic” waste went into a bucket on the kitchen counter and was tossed over the fence to the pigs after dinner. (I have told you about my award winning pig call haven’t I?) Everything else had to be collected and eventually taken to the dump. Of course back then we didn’t buy as much prepackaged “convenience” foods and things so we produced a lot less garbage. Anyway, I’m eternally grateful for those two big rolling cans in my garage that take our garbage, dirty cat litter, and recyclables away  every Monday morning. Without it I’m afraid my house would look even more like an episode of Hoarders.

2. My Dyson vacuum cleaner. Much like my appreciation for garbage men, my love for my Dyson stems from my fear of appearing to be a hoarder. The amount of dirt, dog hair and other grit and grime it sucks up every week would overwhelm this house in a matter of weeks.

3. The internet. Kind of goes without saying that my life would suck without the internet. I’ve made friends that I can’t imagine life without, reconnected with old friends and family, and am vastly entertained and inspired by things on the internet everyday. What kind of world would it be without Honey Badger, George Takei, Nerdfighters, Wil Wheaton and the Bloggess coming into my home every day? A sucky kind of world that’s what kind.

4. My etsy shop. I’m still working off the debt from the store and I would be so far behind without the income from my etsy shop. I have great customers that appreciate the quality fabrics and fast service I provide. Now it has gotten to the point where it practically runs itself. In the future I’d like to add to it and expand it and maybe get back into selling handmade items instead of only supplies. But for now it is providing just what I need.

5. The Albright Theater. I auditioned for The Laramie Project at the Albright in 2009 and it kind of changed my life. I’ve made friends that have become more like family. I’ve stretched myself creatively and broken out of my “suburban Mom” box. I have more self confidence now than I’ve ever had in my life. And I get to play dress up and make believe at least once a year if I’m lucky.

6. My bed. I love a good night’s sleep. When my house is overcome by garbage and dog hair I’m going to retire to my bed and never leave until the tv crews show up.

7. Lilacs. They are the perfect shade of well, lilac and the scent is heavenly. They remind me of my childhood. Right now I’m sitting on the couch and the scent of a small Korean lilac bush in full bloom is wafting in through the open window. What’s not to be grateful for here?

8. Antibiotics. (But not penicillin, that makes my hands and feet get all hot and itchy and feel like they are going to blow up and someday if I take it by accident again may just kill me.) But the other kinds of antibiotics are pretty awesome when taken only when needed and through their full course as prescribed. Without them there’d be a lot more dead people and lot fewer successful surgeries.

9. The aboriginal man or woman who first tamed the wolf. I say this after yelling at Maizey for counter surfing the last little bit of Brie I had heated up for part of my dinner, that’s how much I love my dogs. My life would be so much simpler, cleaner and I’d have so much more money if I didn’t have them but I can’t imagine life without a dog in it.

10. Steve, Sarah and Emma. Yep, I went there and closed the list with the gimme answer. Sue me. Just like with the dogs, my life would be simpler and cleaner without them in it, but oh so empty. (I wouldn’t be richer because Steve makes all the moolah around here with Sarah at a close second, babysitting pays better than retail.) There was a time I was sure I’d never get pregnant and never have a baby. Sometimes those days feel like a lifetime ago and other times it still seems like yesterday. Being a mother has been how I’ve defined myself for 18+ years. I’ve been a wife for almost 23 years. We got married pretty young. It didn’t seem like it at the time but looking back now 22 & 24 was pretty damn young to make a life long decision. It hasn’t always been easy but it has been worth it. We got a pretty good thing going here and I’m very grateful for it.

How about you? What are you grateful for? Will it take you two days to type your list? (By the way, it is now almost 7pm, I started this around 4pm. It’s been one of those days.)

I’ve been intrigued by mandalas for quite some time. I briefly was making photographic mandalas in Paint Shop Pro and had an etsy shop featuring them. But they didn’t take off and make me famous so I quit making them. But I did have a number of them enlarged and framed and now display them in my house. I recently realized that I doubt most visitors to my home even know that I made them. My biggest failing as an artist is my inability to self promote.

I never lack for great ideas and most of the time am even able to bring my ideas to fruition. But I don’t know how or have the social aptitude to get my work out there to the people. This is why my business failed. Does it really matter? Do I need public acknowledgement to be successful? Is my work less valid because no one pays for it? The artist in me says no, it doesn’t matter. Just make art for art’s sake. The little girl that always wanted to be noticed says yes, I just want to be loved and recognized for my talents.

I want 1000s of blog followers, book deals, appearances on HGTV, a product line and people standing in line at CHA to meet me. Or do I? Maybe I like that I can spend a day on my couch watching stupid tv and alternating between doodling and crocheting. Could I still do that if I had all these followers and fans and work to do? Would I hate it if my passions became work. Or would I be one of those lucky people who could say, “It isn’t work because I get to do what I love everyday.” I call bullshit on that. Sorry, but once you have an obligation to someone else, it becomes work. It may not be shoveling horse shit but it is still work. And let’s be honest, I don’t want to do all the work that it takes to get to that point. We all know that there really is no such thing as an overnight sensation or just being in the right place at the right time. That’s why I think sometimes it is the people with less talent that make it bigger than the more talented person. They have to work harder at whatever skill it is they want to be good at and that puts them out there where those “discoveries” are made.

Is the only reason I jump from one craft to the next because of lack of recognition for my talents in one particular field? Not completely. Frankly I get bored too quickly with doing one thing all the time. I typically circle back to most of my interests at some point. Some of my interests are more seasonal. Sometimes I turn to certain mediums because of an emotional need. Sewing is more solitary and isolating. Knitting and crochet I can do in more social settings. Making Zentangles is somewhere in the middle. Within sewing I find quilting fills one type of need creatively while garment sewing uses a different part of my mind.

Photography is completely different than all my other hand crafts. When I make something be it sewn, knit, crocheted or drawn, I’m creating something out of nothing. Taking basic supplies and putting them together to make something new. When I photograph something I’m looking at something that is already there and trying to capture it the way my mind sees it. Like all art forms there is a combination of artistry and technical skill. Often I think my art is my therapy. It is definitely my meditation.

**All of the above photo Mandalas were made using photographs taken at Rosslyn Chapel  and Roslin Glen in Scotland during our 2007 trip.

**The Zendala was made using a template from Tangled Harmony.

ETA: I was flipping through my Zentangle Journal right after uploading this post and realized that this Tangle needed to be included in this post even though it wasn’t a mandala or a spiral. The message is the point. The words are part of a lyric from one of my favorite Jason Mraz songs. Unfortunately the song has a title that isn’t easy to share with people without offending.

I started my “muslin” of the Danglez swimsuit pattern out of some red spandex from Joann Fabrics. Today I gave up and decided it was a wadder. I’m not giving up on the pattern, just this version. The reason I gave it up was this (pictured left). I messed up putting in the  elastic around the upper back and straps. It was just such a pain in the butt to pick it all out so I’m giving it a toss. I won’t throw it out yet just in case I ever need to salvage any of the elastic.

This has been a good learning experience. When I make it again later this week I will have some good ideas of ways to make it better and do things a little different.

One thing I’m doing differently is the front insert and neck edge. On my Land’s End suit this seam is sewn right sides together from the inside with the elastic enclosed. The pattern instructions have you sew the insert in, sandwiched between the cups and the lining and then the neck edge elastic just sewn on the wrong side and flipped over and topstitched. I used the coverstitch for the topstitching and I didn’t like how the finished edge looked.

I also don’t like this fabric. It is shiny and very bright red. I like to wear red but this might be just a bit too close to Wonder Woman territory for my comfort. I have some Milliskin Matte in dark plum that I’m going to use to remake this pattern. It also seems to be a better quality and thicker fabric than this shiny stuff. It should give me more tummy control.

I’m afraid that I might be losing my swimsuit mojo already. I’m getting so close to getting it right but I’m all about instant gratification don’t you know and this is taking too long to get right. It will be a test of my maturity to see if I stick with it! But I turn 45 tomorrow so I guess if I’m ever going to get mature it might be about time.